


I Could Have Lied (But I Didn't)

by bbytaebin



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, M/M, Mentions of Ong Seongwoo - Freeform, mentions of Kang Daniel, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 17:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12113796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbytaebin/pseuds/bbytaebin
Summary: "Don't ever lie to me, okay?"Guanlin murmured a yes from the other side of the phone, half asleep but still trying to listen to what Jihoon was crying about.Jihoon had broken up with his girlfriend, again. This time seemed like the last time, but every time kind of felt like that. Of course, Guanlin knew every time his phone rang at three in the morning who it was and why Jihoon was calling, but he feigned ignorance well every time."Lai Guanlin, I'm dead serious.""I am too. Park Jihoon, I will never, ever, tell you a lie."





	I Could Have Lied (But I Didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> I got rlly soft for jihoon and guanlin out of nowhere so this is what happened i would apologize but i'm not sorry

It was the middle of the night, sobbing into the phone, laying in bed under a mountain of blankets, Jihoon asked Guanlin to promise him something.

"Don't ever lie to me, okay?"

Guanlin murmured a yes from the other side of the phone, half asleep but still trying to listen to what Jihoon was crying about.

Jihoon had broken up with his girlfriend, again. This time seemed like the last time, but every time kind of felt like that. Of course, Guanlin knew every time his phone rang at three in the morning who it was and why Jihoon was calling, but he feigned ignorance well every time.

"Lai Guanlin, I'm dead serious."

"I am too. Park Jihoon, I will never, ever, tell you a lie."

At first, Jihoon is relieved.

He didn't really think there would be an instance where Guanlin would really need a reason to tell him a lie that would shake their friendship, and so the promise, to Jihoon, was essentially pointless. 

He's almost a hundred percent sure, Guanlin still told white lies.

Like how his hair looked nice that day, or that his shirt and pants combo looked okay.

But that's how Guanlin is.

However cold he may look, he's not heartless.

No situation really ever comes up where Guanlin would ever tell Jihoon a lie. Right to his face.

Until a cold December morning, where it's snowing, and Jihoon has to walk to his bus stop. His phone screen is being littered with snowflakes that melt and turn to water, but Jihoon still texts Guanlin to meet him at the bus stop.

It's been about four months since Jihoon really broke up with his girlfriend, and Guanlin has been bugging him to start dating someone again, and soon. Jihoon doesn't really understand dating someone just to date them, and just shrugs the comments off because god, his dongsaeng is annoying.

He's about ten minutes away when the snowflakes falling softly on him stop.

He looks up to see the navy of Guanlin's umbrella, being held over Jihoon's head instead of Guanlin's own. They continue walking together, Jihoon forgetting about his phone.

Guanlin smiles at him, gummy and square, motioning towards Jihoon's beyond wet phone screen.

"You're gonna break your phone, dummy."

Jihoon punches Guanlin in the shoulder, smiling slightly.

"Shut up, loser. Why are you so dressed up? It's not even negative ten."

Guanlin sticks his tongue out at Jihoon.

"That sounds like the bitterness of someone who isn't dressed appropriately. Park Jihoon, you could get sick."

Jihoon thinks he already is sick.

Lai Guanlin, has gotten him sick.

Around Guanlin, his stomach tightens up, his head hurts, and he gets all sweaty.

Even now, in this cold weather, just being near Guanlin makes his palms get heated.

His face, too.

"Wow, hyung, your face is really red."

Jihoon ignores him, in favor of walking faster, leaving Guanlin and his umbrella and his dumb handsome face back behind him.

He almost slips on ice three times, and he doesn't have to turn around to know Guanlin is laughing at him.

When they're in the shelter of the bus stop, they're about ten minutes late for the bus, and Jihoon grumbles and Guanlin just laughs.

He's been doing a lot of that lately, but most of it around Jihoon.

Guanlin gasps at some point while Jihoon is spaced out, and Jihoon visibly shakes his head and jumps when Guanlin grabs his hands.

Guanlin looks him in the eyes a bit, almost too intimate for the setting of a bus stop at eight o'clock in the morning.

"Hyung, your hands are so cold. You could get sick! What would your mom say if she knew you went out without a hat and mittens?!"

Guanlin fishes through his backpack and finds a spare pair of mittens and a hat, and sets them on his lap, taking off his own hat and setting it on Jihoon's head.

Jihoon splutters, tempted to rip his hands out of Guanlin's grasp, but they just feel so nice there, he can't be bothered to move them.

He goes still as Guanlin brings his hands to his lips, blowing hot air onto his fingertips, then replacing his hands with his mittens.

Jihoon's heart speeds up, pounding against his ribcage so hard he's almost certain Guanlin will hear it, will laugh at him.

Guanlin doesn't hear it though, and puts the replacement articles on, smiling at Jihoon, who looks away, face too red to pass off as skin reacting to cold air.

Guanlin notices his face, and just assumes he's embarrassed by the mention of his mother scolding him.

They sit in silence until the bus arrives, and Jihoon specifically puts his bag in the vacant seat beside him, unsure if he'd be able to sit next to Guanlin and live.

According to Jihoon, he's sick.

According to every other source on the planet, he's in love.

More specifically, the search results that came up when he surfed the internet for what kind of ailment made him unable to speak to and be close with his very best friend in the whole wide world.

He's......in love?

With Guanlin? 

He can't be. That's impossible.

He's Park Jihoon. And Guanlin is Lai Guanlin. They've been friends since Jihoon was in third grade, and Guanlin in second.

He goes to bed early that night, in hopes he'd sleep off whatever was making him feel this way, and praying to prove the internet--the most credible source for information ever--wrong.

Needless to say, he doesn't.

He wakes up without thinking of Guanlin. He eats breakfast and gets dressed and thinks it was maybe a one time thing, smiling to himself.

It's when he opens the door and Lai Guanlin is there, poised to knock, that Jihoon thinks this is maybe deeper than he thought.

Guanlin looks maybe the best he's ever looked. Ever. Ever ever ever.

He's wearing an oversized pink jacket, jeans, and instead of boots, running shoes.

In his left hand, he's clutching a hat, and in the other, some mittens.

Guanlin sees him staring, and assumes he's confused as to why he's there.

He is, but that's not why Jihoon was staring.

"I bought these for you yesterday. I went out with my mom and if you don't like them I can take them back but I figured y-"

Jihoon takes them and looks at them.

They're neon yellow, matching his jacket, and he exhales shakily.

"T-Thank you, Guanlin-ah. Really."

He puts the articles on, and he walks to the bus stop with Guanlin, quietly.

 

From then, he begins to avoid Guanlin at all costs. Leaving his house at irregular times, answering messages with the bare minimum, eating lunch with Daniel and Seongwoo, and going to bed early or telling his mom to turn Guanlin away if he shows up.

It's when Guanlin calls at three in the morning, Jihoon has to pick up.

Guanlin talks harshly into his ear immediately.

"Yah! Are you insane?! You ignore me for weeks after i get you a gift? What the hell is wrong with you? I don't care you're older than me! I'm going to lose my mind!"

Jihoon winces, chuckling softly.

Guanlin never had really followed the concepts of honorifics. Or cared Jihoon was older.

"I-I can't talk right now, I'm busy-"

"Busy?! At this time? Jihoon, I thought we weren't going to tell each other lies. Tell me what's wrong with you before I really curse you out. I mean it."

Jihoon sighs. Either way, his friendship with Guanlin has to end. And if it ends with him telling the truth, at least Jihoon won't have any regrets.

"I'm gay, Guanlin-ah."

Guanlin sucks in a breath on the other side of the phone, and says nothing.

"I know you're disgusted, I know. I'll hang up no-"

"Did you expect me to be like that? Hyung, it's alright."

This sets Jihoon into flames.

Nothing about this is alright.

"No, Guanlin, it isn't alright. I'm utterly and completely in love with you and that isn't alright."

The other end of the line is silent, and Jihoon realizes he shot himself in the foot.

It all could have been fine.

He sucks in a breath, and lets tears fall down his cheeks, and smiles through them.

"I'll hang up first. Goodnight, Guanlin-ah."

He hangs up.

He lays in bed, but he knows he won't get any sleep.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he prays Guanlin will text him and tell him things are still okay between them, but his phone stays black, and dark.

The next four days pass without anything from Guanlin.

Jihoon sees him in the hallway, and tries not to acknowledge him.

He sees him at lunch, taking the space Jihoon usually occupies with Daniel and Seongwoo.

He sees Guanlin talking to his friends, but there's not a word said to him.

A week later, Jihoon pronounces any chance of him and Guanlin being friends anymore, officially dead.

 

A week and twelve hours later, however, at exactly 1:35, just as Jihoon is getting ready to head to bed, someone is banging horrifically on the door downstairs, and his mother yells at him to get it and so he's scrambling to the stairwell because god, he just wants to go to sleep.

However, when the door is opened, and Lai Guanlin is standing there, obviously hand picked flowers in one hand, with no hat or mittens on, all thoughts of sleep are gone.

Jihoon is about to ask Guanlin what he's doing there, but Guanlin takes a deep breath and steps forward before Jihoon can speak, messily pressing his lips to Jihoon's quickly.

When they pull apart, Guanlin immediately starts ranting almost too loud. 

"I'm really sorry I took so long to follow up I was just scared and I just really wanted to make sure my feelings were real before I said anything else to you and I was planning to ask you out tomorrow but I couldn't wait that long and yes these were from the g-"

Jihoon moves away from the door, and Guanlin stands there, stiff.

He half expected Jihoon to close the door as soon as he opened it, but Jihoon just returns with mittens for Guanlin's cold hands, and a hat for his head.

"You're not lying? You mean it? You really like me? For re-"

Guanlin cuts him off by laughing.

"Park Jihoon, I promised I would never lie to you. I can't think of anyone better to be my first boyfriend in Korea than my first best friend in Korea. Now let me in. I'm cold and it's Saturday."

For the first night in a week and a half, Jihoon falls asleep comfortably.

Granted, it's at five thirty in the morning and his head is on Guanlin's lap, with legs over the side of the bed with some awful movie lighting up the room, but it's comfortable nevertheless.


End file.
